guilty pleasure- "Us" and I

I enjoy the occasional gossip magazine like everyone else. And don't say you don't! But I'm not talking about Star or National Enquirer and all that crap-olah, with headlines like, "800 LB. WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO ALIEN LOVER'S BABY!" We always seem to find ourselves at the grocery checkout line taking glances at the newest and juiciest gossip on the cover of People, Us Weekly, In Touch, etc. etc. That damn Us Weekly gets me everytime! I curse you! Its untouched glossy front cover, that brand-spakin' new magazine smell, the most talked about celebs...helloooo lover. Mostly, I just enjoy indulging myself in the fashion, recent photos, and the "loose-talk". But there's some things in there that are just plain stupid. Us Weekly has a spot Stars- They're Just Like Us! "They carry bags! They eat ice-cream sandwiches! They try on shoes!" WOW! REALLY?! I thought they were a special species of homo sapien! Idiots. It's kind of comical really but can you imagine having your every move being splattered across newstands and stores for all the world to see? And we wonder why Britney shaved her head and Russell Crowe beats anyone with a camera. Such a shame (shaking head). I now have the sudden urge to dash to my "dealer" (the grocery store) for a fix! "Who wore that dress better? What's the must-have beauty product this summer? What lies ahead for Jon and Kate? What's the newest fad diet? Who's this nobody's celebrity sibling?" The answer my friends, lies within these 96+ pages.

Bizarre Foods Survival Special

No, he is not going to be doing a guest appearance on Survivor. But instead, taking a one-hour boat ride from Puerto Vallarta, to a remote island where he fends for himself. Basically Man vs. Wild minus that British nut job. A sample of the survival menu includes coconuts (nothing scary there), grasshoppers (okay...maybe a little scary), wild lime (hmmm), pig weed (not a clue), and opihi (YES)! Okay, I lived off opihi back in Hawai'i and I gotta say, one of the best creatures the ocean has to offer. If you love sea snails, this is a must. The best part is prying those little suckers (literally) off the salty rocks while clinging onto the rocky edge and being pounded by waves. Man, I miss Hawai'i! Okay, I'm going off track here. Here's a 2 minute sneak-peek of Andrew with a survival guide (an actual guide as in human, not a book) before he's left into the depths of the jungle to do who knows what.

Now, if you actually watched the clip, did he seriously just eat that LIVE baby lizard??? Now, here's the man that is freaked out by SPAM, but will eat a baboons butt. Okay, I don't know if he actually has eaten that but you never know with this guy! And that's why we love him.
So tune in folks, Tuesday night at 10 E/P, to see what craziness he gets into. Maybe when the boat goes back to pick him up, he'd have gone all Lord of the Flies with the camera crew. FUN!!!

june heat

This heat is getting to me. And it's not a gradual transition from spring to summer. It goes...Monday: 75 degrees. Lovely. Tuesday: 95 degrees. Humid and sweating in places I really wish it wouldn't. That's Tennessee for ya. But all hail to the creator of air conditioning! Without it, I'd probably just wander around my apartment in my underwear. But I would trade A/C any day for some cool tradewinds like back home in Kaua'i. Picture it. A cool breeze blended with the subtle fragrance of plumeria, salty ocean, and a hint of rain that makes its way across the sandy beach, swaying you ever so gently on a hammock mounted under two banyan trees. Ahhhhhhhhhh....the island life is calling to me around this time of year. Let's see. The closest beach to me is the Gulf Coast in Alabama. A 9 hour drive you say? No problem. Oh wait, a cranky 3 year old and J who needs to stop every hour for a smoke break? Scratch that. Or we just leave in the middle of the night while the little guy sleeps and I covertly slap on a nicotine patch for J. "Oh...a mosquito. Yeah, a mosquito was on your arm. Yeah that's right!"
This polar bear was so happy at the Memphis Zoo. Oh how I wish that was me! Minus the fur and extra 300 lbs. of fat anyway. I guess for now, I'll just wade around in the pool, make use of my A/C, and find other ways to cool down in this June heat.